4.20

I don't know why, but knowing that Kal does weed was bugging me a little today. I don't know... I guess it's because I'm just scared Mom will find out, I couldn't stop crying last night; I'm not sure if it was because I was upset about the weed, or if it was because of my mom. Mom forced me away from Kal last night... I threw up because of it. All I wanted to do was talk to him all night again... I love him. Even if he is a stoner. I just hope he wouldn't do it around me. If he does I probably will have to break up with him, which I would probably die if I did. I love him too much. I don't wanna bug him about it... Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. I guess it's just because I told myself I wouldn't date someone who did drugs. It's better than being cheated on, at least. I love him more than words can explain. I don't want to fuck things up with him. If I could, I'd just ignore it, but I can't. I've tried. Even though it bugs me, it doesn't change the way I feel about him. He gives me reason to live... He gives me something to look foreword to each day. I love him. I truly want to spend the rest of my life with him...

-Sammie